Keep that fat lady out of our sight

The result of the Newcastle United v Middlesbrough game couldn't have been more ghastly for Hull City's survival prospects, but ultimately a team with a record in this calendar year as poor as ours doesn't need other teams to experience an upsurge in form in order to rubberstamp our fate.

Yet it's not impolite to point out to the joyous Geordies that they're not safe yet.

I don't expect us to get another point for the rest of the season. But the last fortnight of a season can do queer things to clubs in the brown stuff, and maybe the sight of us finally in the relegation zone might permit the players to free up, relax and play with the monkey subconsciously removed from their collective backs. And if that does happen, I'd back us to get a point, at least, at Bolton Wanderers. I look at the games involving the teams around us and I wouldn't back any of them to get a thing, relaxed or not.

It's a strange old situation that we could still go down if we collect all six of the remaining points available, or stay up with just one. Many a straw has been grabbed in the online lobbies, where the Tiger Nation seem to believe that if Manchester United have won the title by this weekend, which they probably will, then Sir Alex Ferguson will field his third string - plus Darren Fletcher - when they visit the KC on the final day. Of course, a Manchester United third string may still be skilled enough to beat a first string Hull City, although it may help our cause if they've recalled Manucho by then and stuck him in a red shirt for the day...

It will, theoretically, go to the last day of the season, although a defeat for us and a victory for Newcastle and at least a mere draw for Sunderland will send us down on goal difference. Any more helpful combinations of results could keep us in the loop and with Newcastle playing a resurgent Fulham, a draw could well be enough to remove us from the bottom three again. Then all we have to do is beat Manchester United...

I want to try to forget about it until this weekend, but I can't. Everyone now expects us to go down, as if Newcastle United will somehow end the season with three straight wins as a result of finally managing one. The difference between being the establishment, copy-inducing club and the upstarts with the over-talkative manager, I suppose. My heart and head say different things, but I don't actually know which one claims we can still stay up.